Before & After: A Dresser Goes Diva

If I had to fill out a checklist of things that I am, "handy" or "crafty" would remain next to a box left unchecked. I’ve never been able to handle the fact that something might not turn out the way I intend it. And yes, I’m aware that most things take TONS of practice to get good at, but that hasn’t changed my thinking. I’m generally one failed project away from a really good temper tantrum…just ask my family.

It’s taken a couple of years of living in this house for me to start to get really sick of the fact that we’ve barely decorated it. I don’t blame that on myself, however. I blame it on my husband. I’m into instant gratification. M, not so much. We’ve left many a furniture store with me fuming because I wanted to buy something. Anything. And he’s perfectly happy waiting a bajillion years until he finds the just right piece. It's beside the point that I can’t actually remember what the items that I sulked about even are anymore! I don't want to say the word...cheapskate...let me just stop before I get myself into trouble.

Most relationships have a spender and a saver—which is good, because then you can somehow balance each other out. And there has to be a little give and take. But when the spender (me) decides it’s time to decorate, she’s not going to get a standing ovation from the saver (M). (If I hear the word retirement ONE MORE TIME...) I’m not going to say he doesn’t throw me a bone now and then, but you’ll never see a truck stop in front of my house to unload roomfuls of furniture from Pottery Barn or Ballard. M only likes addition, not subtraction. I don't think his math teacher gave subtraction its fair shake.

Case in point, poor little A never had a beautifully decorated nursery. Sniff. (If you don't feel sorry for me, then please just have the decency to pretend.) She ended up with her sister’s hand-me-down crib in a pecan finish (which I must have thought looked cute for a girl 9 years ago), and her dad’s HORRIBLE hand-me-down apartment furniture circa 1980. Gross. In a room that is actually very cutely painted (The story of which could be a post itself, but that is neither here nor there). I mean, just look…




Ugh! You can’t say one offensive thing about it that I haven’t uttered myself. Plus, I KNOW the stuffed animals look horrible. I figured…what’s the point, you know?

Then a couple of things happened.
#1 – M and I painted S’s room as a birthday surprise. OURSELVES. And it looks FINE!!! It wasn’t even that hard or that hideous of a way to spend time! In fact, I felt really accomplished. I thought to myself…maybe I can paint another room. Maybe I can do some things myself. Which led to event
#2 – I went on a Google search for DIY home improvements/décor. And I found this goldmine:



I read and read and read and then I started to feel empowered. If she could create and be handy, I could too! I just had to pick a project and I knew right where to start! Thrifty Décor Chick practically walks you through everything! So I made a list and went to Lowe’s. I marched straight up to the paint lady, (who according to everyone on the internet, is the most knowledgeable, friendliest person on the planet), explained my project and stepped back to receive her wisdom. I wanted to know which type of paint to use for my project—flat, semi-gloss, glossy??? She practically growled at me. She was UG--LY!!! And she didn’t answer my question. Soooo…thinking she must not have understood me, I asked again, with my voice quivering just ever so slightly. SAME UGLINESS!! Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so empowered, and then I shocked myself by Starting. To. Cry.

In Lowe’s.

In front of the mean paint lady.

Mortifying to say the least!!!

M was with me and I waited for him to do something to the mean paint lady. Like throw her down. And yell. And defend my honor or whatever.

Didn’t happen. Instead, he got aggravated with me for crying, which made me cry harder. Still in Lowe’s people, still standing there. Basket full of everything I needed except the flippin' paint. What’s a girl to do? Well – this girl walked into the blinds section to try to stop the crazy crying while M finished up with what he needed. And we paid and left, tears still flowing. I decided to go back for the paint when someone else came on shift and in the meantime, I’d just go ahead and research the actual kind of paint I should use online. Where people can’t make you cry.

The thing is, I don’t know when people actually change shifts at Lowe’s. So I went with Plan B – put on a costume of sunglasses and baseball cap and go back the next day for the paint. Just in case SHE’s there again. Plus, I prepared ahead of time and was ready to throw out these words to her…SEMI-GLOSS!!! I would sound knowledgeable and convincing – complete opposite of the crazy chick who came in yesterday. Naturally, meanie pants was behind the paint counter and I’m pretty sure she still recognized me despite my elaborate disguise, but she didn’t say a word. I don’t think she knew WHAT to do with me! Maybe next time she’ll think twice before she’s so darn mean! (But I won't hold my breath).

Oh, before you start thinking that M is all insensitive to my needs, when we got home, he told me he'd had a run-in with said paint lady on a previous occasion. My man is a Ninja cowboy, but, she's REALLY scary. ;)

I forgot to mention that in addition to repainting the furniture, I had to repair some drawers. A little bit of this was going on:


And this:


If you aren’t quite sure of what you’re looking at, the back is missing from the drawer. When socks get lost, I have to go feeling around in the back. Go ahead. Laugh. I’ve already cried enough for the both of us.

It actually wasn’t too hard. All I needed was a rubber mallet and a little of this:



At this point I’m feeling like a professional. I just fixed 3 janky drawers that have been bothering me for years. In minutes. Okay, a couple of hours. I’m just not naturally all that architectural. I could have asked for help, but I wanted to be independent and I wanted M to be amazed by my handiness. Mission accomplished. :)

I’m not going to continue to bore you with all the details of my little project. I just want to express to you how in love with myself I am. Because I did this:




Wait.




Not yet.




Suspense killing you???




OK...here goes:








YEEEAAAHHHH, BABY!!! (Did I mention how ROCKIN’ AWESOME I am?) ;)




I’m just playing around with accessories, so it isn’t finished yet. But CAN YOU BELIEVE??? I don’t know how much the whole project cost because frankly, I’m not into adding up receipts. But I can tell you it wasn’t that much. A gallon of paint, knobs were $2 each at Hobby Lobby, some wood filler, and some poly (which is going to be around for LOTS more projects). And I did it all by myself. Well, practically all by myself. Alright…I did need M’s help on the measuring part. I got REALLY frustrated trying to line up the holes for the knobs. The original holes were for the 2-prong things. They were hideous. (Look at how cute these knobs are!) Before I knew it, M had the drill in hand and was drilling away. Who was I to stop him?

Lastly, I did this:



If you’re thinking to yourself…where did she find that cute drawer liner? The answer is Tar-jay, wrapping paper section. I discovered this awesome product called Spray Adhesive. It turns any paper into contact paper. I just need to scrape the bubbles out a bit. In my opinion, you really need a helper for contact paper. It can get a little tricky.

In conclusion, what did I learn by redoing A’s butt ugly furniture?
#1 – I’m a rock star! (Kidding, but can you tell how impressed I am with myself?) Again, kidding!
#2 – I can be a good steward of my family’s money and that M is RIGHT (yes, I said it) to keep me reigned in a little. Plus, if he wasn't a little tightish on the purse strings, I wouldn't have realized how fun it is to do things yourself! By the way, everything I say about my hubby is really tongue-in-cheek. He's not that bad; he just took me to Jamaica for 6 days!
#3 – Starting with something so awful there’s no way you could possibly mess it up can keep you coming back for more! I definitely didn’t do a perfect job, but I’m just not going to sweat the small stuff. I might be officially hooked on home projects!

So what’s next on my agenda? Oh, goodness! I’ve made a list! And I got a CRAZY look from M as I explained my need for a miter box. But as I looked at how the cute “new” furniture in A’s room really just accents the awfulness of the bed, I began to envision what I could do about this…



And my darling M replied…oh, we’ll buy her a bed! Well, we’ll just see about that!